F*** You!

[Shawn Gossman]

Scenario:

You're a forum admin (owner) and a member does something wrong. You warn them about it. They get mad and say "F*** You" but the full word.

What do you do?

Would a response be different in public forum versus private message?

Has this actually ever happened to you before?

 

[AWS]

My response would be the same either way. I would be polite and to the point. Best way to handle those situations is to remain calm and think about what you say before you say it.

 

[Shawn Gossman]

My response would be the same either way. I would be polite and to the point. Best way to handle those situations is to remain calm and think about what you say before you say it.

I think it's important to handle it the same way on private or public forum.

Being calm is the way to be.

When a person says that they're mad and emotional and ready to argue if you keep it going.

I'd respond saying "Are you okay?" and use psychological approaches with them.

@Tracy knows this term I bet: Verbal Judo

 

[Tracy]

I'd respond saying "Are you okay?" and use psychological approaches with them.

@Tracy knows this term I bet: Verbal Judo

In the old days.. yep and I used it regularly. Now that I'm a retired old crotchety man I'm just as likely to tell someone to FO. Just ask certain folks over on XF or TAZ.

 

[Mike30]

I just used a variation of the word in a pm. When a person consume all my patience and I get to see they are taking advantage/cheating, I don't mind speaking my mind public or private. I try as hard as possible to be polite, but I got a limit.

 

[Bawse]

It's happened. I gave the member a 30 day ban. If they do it again, I'll ban permanently.

I've had past members saying worse than that lol

 

[Nomad]

I wouldn't say anything, just wipe out his existence from the forum. However, a moderator on a certain forum once used that word to me in a public forum, not on a private message. I never returned to that forum even when the owner was paying me to post. I am a package team on multiple forums and when the forum request for a posting package, I always exclude myself. I am not someone who likes to pick bones but when I am defending my points I can be quite stern.

 

[frm]

Some of my forums will be directed to be handled this way:

My response would be the same either way. I would be polite and to the point. Best way to handle those situations is to remain calm and think about what you say before you say it.

As they are unfiltered to raw adult talk.

Others will be handled this way:

It's happened. I gave the member a 30 day ban. If they do it again, I'll ban permanently.

Except for a 3-day ban, a 7-day ban, and then a permanent ban, with an appeal to rejoin after 60 days, as they are professional forums and there is no space for toxicity there. This is about how Facebook handles it and is a good medium for those niches.

Moderators that I take on will have to learn the time and place for each, that is, if they are cross-moderating.

If the users of the unfiltered/adult talk forums progress from a F*** You to racial slurs, etc., it may be handled in the same way as the professional forum. But, it will probably end up with just stacking 1 warning point until a 3-day ban (3 points) to be a bit fairer, with the slurs edited out.

I have not gotten far enough to create an SOP around this to fit broadly across forums and to address specific situations. But, this is generally where I fall in regards to how I would like them to operate.

 

[Bawse]

@frm I try to handle each situation accordingly, sometimes a warning or private discussion with the member might be enough.

 

[frm]

@frm I try to handle each situation accordingly, sometimes a warning or private discussion with the member might be enough.

As it should, just like police officers have discretion.

There will be a protocol to follow, but moderators will still have the discretion to apply what they feel is necessary.

But, there needs to be some standard to fall back on and point to so the the moderator isn't to blame.

 

[JoelR]

One of the core principles of people management: publicly praise, privately critique.

There's no reason to make personnel issues public, unless there is a strategic reason or value to the community to make certain actions known.

 

[Nebulous]

If someone is saying that to you then they are probably wanting to get banned on purpose because they are upset. How would I handle it? I suppose I'd just stop replying and watch that member to see if they are going to continue their tantrum in public.

 

[Bawse]

As it should, just like police officers have discretion.

There will be a protocol to follow, but moderators will still have the discretion to apply what they feel is necessary.

But, there needs to be some standard to fall back on and point to so the the moderator isn't to blame.

As forum owners we are the authority on our communities. My moderator usually/always asks me before banning members.